Stop! Think! Change!

After reading yet another story about rape, I couldn't help but put my words down into a poem. Please share this. It needs to stop...just for one moment we need to think about what our role is in society.

Stop! Think! Change!

I'm strong, I'm brittle
I'm independent, I'm broken
I see these eyes glaring at me,
I'm screaming - stop!
Someone's sister,
Someone's daughter
Someone's wife,
Someone's mother.
I'm pushed to the ground
I'm forced to scream
but my mouth is covered.
I'm pinned, they've sinned
Bruised, blooded,
now they take turns
like it's some kind of game,
My whole life in an instant, shamed, deranged.
Is it right, that I can no longer live, because of animals, who think they have a right to my body?
I'm innocent, my age?
Doesn't matter
my vagina, my body?
Treated like a toy
for sexual pleasure
of someone else's filthy desires.
He has no control, he's wild
So are his pack.
They say it was the way I was dressed
I was playing with my friends,
Like my mum used to with her friends
But it's the dress I was wearing,
It was flared, when the wind hit, it lifted up sometimes,
They watched me day in day out,
He was like a guardian to me
He took advantage, he blamed it on me.
I was just 9, but I see it everyday,
I see girls and women EVERYDAY,
Being sexually groped, attacked,
forced to have sex, raped, assaulted.
As I look down, I see, that this world needs to change...
It needs humans to be humans,
It needs fathers to protect
It needs brothers to defend,
It needs mothers to teach
It needs sisters to no longer pretend,
Mentalities to change
If YOU want to live in a better place.

The new phase

Hello Lovelies!

It's that time of year again...the yearly birthday blog!

Hope you've been all doing great things in the past year!...I've had somewhat a rough year so let me get all the not so nice things out the way.

I had 3 immediate family deaths in 5mths - my mama (uncle) died from lung cancer aged just 52 in August, my maternal grandfather died in December who I loved dearly and then my great aunt died in January 2012 (my uncle's mum, who died in August) - All very close family...so its' been somewhat tough but dealing with it the best I know.

I also decided to resign from my job, partly due to my breakdown and I also moved to London to become a part-time carer for my grandmother.

I've been very quiet on the music side lately and that was purely for the reasons above. On a positive note I released my first single PLAY THIS GAME along with the video - check it out if you haven't www.youtube.com/rainerecords1. I never pushed PTG as the day after I realised my single, my uncle passed away, still i'm happy with the response it did receive - so thank you to everyone who downloaded it, commented and shared the song.

Musically things really kicked off for Arjun - it's a been a great journey of 4 years with Arj so far and i'm really excited about the future! Trust me he is a gem - humble and talented. I'm blessed to have gained a brother for life. For me...I'm currently working on my EP and more songwriting.  I'm also in the process of starting my new business - not music related - so really really excited!

I went away to Rhodes for my birthday (solo travelling!) which was amazing...I did a lot of walking, exploring, relaxing and a little partying! Ladies if you want to see hot men - go to Rhodes!!!! he-he I spent my birthday on Symi Island and walked over 500 steep steps to almost the top - great way of toning by the way!

Things that happen in life are sometimes not in our control, but how we deal with them is.

Learn to be a little selfish sometimes, you can still give - but you give better when you are in a healthy and happy place :-)

I'm starting a whole new journey...a new phase.   Not much to say this year really...just that life is too short...so enjoy it.

Short and sweet: Be you, Live for you, Create you - LOVE you!

Much love and keep posted for new material :-)

Rani xxx

Bittersweet - Music

Bittersweet


Bittersweet, is my relationship with music.
Sometimes it’s there to comfort me
Sometimes it’s there to break me,
Sometimes it’s there to make me smile
but sometimes it hurts me.


They say the game is tough
not made for delicate hearts
its not until the break of trust
You realise the true colours
Of the ones you elevate fast.


Bittersweet, are the lies
As no-one knows the truth
I sit in silence, wondering
When they’ll pay their dues.

Bittersweet are the memories
Bittersweet are the people
Who’s a friend? Who’s a foe?
No-one really ever knows.

Turning 27 (gracefully) Wiser, Stronger and Focused

As always a birthday note!


So I turn 27 tomorrow/today, another year's gone by and I get to talk about all the things that have happened over the year, in all aspects of my life - I like being an open book, because i'm not scared of being me. Today i'm going to reveal a few things which people are not aware of...
So since last April - I'm still single, been on a few dates - mostly disastrous but funny too! No offence to the guys, but i'm glad they didn't work out, as it only makes me know, what I want more...and of course what I don't want!


Each year I find I tend to cut people out my life for some reason or another, not because i'm a high-flying B***h but because in one way or another they've hurt me, or just created negative energy. I need positive people and good people around me - i've lived with too much rubbish around me for far too long.
Careerwise I left my 3-year job from Marketing Coordinator to now Web Content Exec, the pays more and as with all of us, I hope most of us know our worth. As much as I loved the people and company, there was no room for progression, so I felt it was time to move onto something new....and that for some people can be hard in itself. Starting afresh isn't always easy, you lose people along the way, but you also gain new people, it's part and parcel of life, as I learn every year which brings me onto my music...


Only a few weeks ago Kee and I parted ways musically, mutual and all part of progression. It was coming at some point, in fact last year I had decided I wanted to give up managing, because it was just all too much, but then I decided against it - and i'm glad! As some business releationships finish others are created...with every journey, there is a new door for everyone...and I want to wish Kee all the very best - still have a lot of love for her and her talent. I know she will do well. I can't say that at some point I wasn't hurt, as I was, it was like watching a bird fly its nest for the the very first time, after you'd taught it how to fly etc - you're happy for it but also scared they don't get hurt along the way. Like I said i'm very open...a lot of people may not like that...but hey this is my note! I felt a little down and angry about things, but soon you learn that life's too short and everyone has their own issues to deal with. I did however notice how quickly people change around you...and yes I notice very well. One thing I will say to ANY artist out there, appreciate what people do for you, you may not always meet good people around you, there are very rare people in this industry who do things out the kindness of their heart. I may not be the BEST manager, but i'd like to think i'm a good one - I respect people and try the best I can with all that goes on around me.


So now Raine is Arjun and I, we have a lot going on, something exciting in the pipeline which I'll reveal in good time and hopefully soon (fingers crossed!). I'm working on my solo material as well as managing Arjun. I call it the Elton Team! lol Arjun produces for me as I can only sing and songwrite! I'm looking forward to his new releases! Lot of love for Arjun as not only is he an artist to me but also a brother, who has shown me my wrongs and rights :-)

My 2010/2011 songwriting credits: I co-wrote 'Crazy' Kee's debut single in 2010, which also went global! In 2011 I was blessed with writing the Hindi hook for 'Jaaneman' the amazing song by Raxstar feat Kee. Writing an item number 'Nachengye' for the new UK feature film 'The Rajini Effect' music produced by Charles Bosco and also beautiful vocals by Priti Menon and there is still lots more to come including my single 'Play This Game'.
As a manager i've been around for 3 years but as an artist i'm starting from scratch - now I will see who helps and sticks by my side when I need them - as honestly speaking I've been there for a lot of people.
I also held our first Raine Showcase in conjunction with Thamarai at Patch bar in Central London, which was an amazing night with great talent from all spectrums. With the help of Vinay Sharma we organised a charity cricket match, we raised circa £500 - thanking everyone involved. £250 went to the Japan Crisis and £250 to Red Cross.
As you can tell music plays a BIG part in my life!


Priya Mulji also interviewed me about my life, you can check out her blog: http://priyamulji.wordpress.com/2011/03/18/rani-joshi-talks-motherhood-domestic-violence-and-music/

I also went on holiday to Greece last year my first girlie holiday - amazing time, then Paris partying away, some of my best friends got married and engaged - so this years going to be busy!!

I think this notes long enough and a bit jumbled - but you'll understand it I hope!

I've learned that no matter how much you help people it's never enough, so start by helping the person that needs it the most - you. You only have this one life to be all that you can.
So from 26-27 i've become wiser, stronger and more focused. Thank you to everyone who has shown me love and support over the year and also the artists i've worked with.


I want to leave you with this, something I wrote today:

'A strong woman never breaks down, but uses her pain to become her strength'

Love always xxx

Mr Right

2011 – A new decade, a new start, a new story.


I know you’ve probably read many stories from men but particularly women about finding the ‘one’. In some cases great outcomes, in others not so great. With fewer people tying the knot less people are getting divorced.

So I guess the question that comes to mind and heart is: ‘How do you know?’


I’ve asked people this question so many times and the answer I get over and over is – ‘you just know’. That’s great, but HOW do you know? Do you feel something, you know, what is it? Is it the first kiss that tells all? Again I’m left confused with – ‘you just know’. People in love are really confusing!

So I guess being in my mid 20’s the pressure is on to find ‘Mr Right’, aunts asking at every possible moment – ‘Are you looking? Your biological clock is ticking; you need to spend some time getting to know one another etc. (Thanks!) ‘We will spread the word and start looking’, as if you were some kind of disease that needs a cure! The cure being a man or in a man’s case, a woman.

The truth is what are we ACTUALLY looking for in the opposite sex? Someone who is educated with a degree, drives a nice car, good-looking, has a well paid job, a nice-ish personality and ambition? Or are you the kind looking for someone who will provide for the family, no matter what job it is, has a great personality, but is happy enjoying life more than earning lots of money. Why not the combination of both you ask? Well, if there is a combination of both – it’s damn rare and I certainly have not come across someone like that!

So far I have come across guys from different walks of life, but one thing in common – ambitious but love the opposite sex a bit TOO much, of course there is the exception of one or two where they care about you, but don’t want to commit. So what is one to do?!

The truth is what we want, we don’t always need, and what we need, we don’t always want. What is the point in being with someone who is constantly working, bringing in the money, but has no time for love? Or do you want to be with someone who has no ambition, a semi-good job, and has time for love?


From this you have probably gathered it’s a confusing time in life not just for me but a lot of the singletons. We can meet great people click and all those great things, but the nitty gritty of what kind of job you have, what your ambitions are, what your goals are, what caste you are etc all kick in. – Are we too consumed by material things? Why can’t it be just as simple as L.O.V.E?


Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. - Dr. James C. Dobson.

Breathe

Wreathed and riddled

Unlike a knife,

never straight to the point

just puzzled,

unravelling like a rope

too high on coke

imagination running away

like someone smoking dope.

Depression, a monster

of chemical erections, reactions

stressed, deadbeat living like a

lifeless soul, deep hole,

something, someone

taking control, of my mind

leave me alone its dark and its cold

get me out of here

someone pull me out

I just need space

I just need time

I just need space to breathe

This is me

Since I was born my dad was on poison

aged 16 we cremated my mother, my angel,

I never had a real childhood to look back to

I don’t even have memories of happy families to rise to.

I’m still being rescued from myself

busting the ghosts from my past,

try smashed windows, violence and the fight for survival,

I guess you wouldn’t know, would you?

Like a blind person you fail to see me

Yet somehow, they still manage to feel me,

Like a deaf person you fail to hear me

yet somehow, they still listen and cry for me.

I’m not crying out for help, because I don’t need it

I’d hoped you’d understand me and mean it,

It’s so easy for you to judge

because you never understood me,

what did you expect from someone

with a complicated life, and a messed up story?

There are angels and demons in all of us

There’s black and white, even in smoke and dust

If you can’t stay loyal, then you’ve broken my trust

I guess you were never a true friend, because you gave up on us.



These are not just words, this is me, bleeding, from the bottom of my heart.